Dirty dirty you

Life is a punishing struggle. People born sinful, crawling away from the filth inside their own skins.Thick invisible barrier preventing you from succeeding. Low ceiling is over your head, pushing you down into the dirt around your own feet.

The world teasing you with "almost". Reach for things within your grasp, touch them for a second, not everyone gets even this much.

Look at what you can't have. 

Petulant child, screaming "but the others have it, why can't I?"; scream and shout or lie down in the muck and avoid looking up. "Use your induction; you've banged on the door enough times to know that nobody lives there."

Circularity

The same things just happen to me (with me?) over and over again. Life is circular. Not quite circular, it's the seasons of a tree; growth, maturity, death and growth again, all whilst moving upwards and outwards. Like a map of human history, progress, revolution and death, and slightly more progress. Slowly edging forward. I feel like I've lived the same scenarios a thousand times until I'm saying your words for you two seconds ahead and never listening. Trying to improve myself, or change things but at the heart it's just the same tree, the same species, the same life that I'm watching from up here, slightly up and to the left of where it's all happening.